The spectators in their seats neither stood nor sat,
Pale green, they are put to flight from fear,
Exhorting each other for victory and
Raising their the hands to the gods
Each made prayers of great things
 just like the sharp sound of a crane or jackdaw,
after they drink unspeakable amounts of beer and wine,
And shouting they fly to the stadium’s course

Dio addresses the citizens of Alexandria in their theater. He is none too pleased with their general tomfoolery and debauchery and he attacks them in the most relatable way possible: by parodying Homer.

Again, Egyptians love their beer. Drunkenness, regardless of the medium through which it is achieved, yields equal results: annoying whooping shouts.

Drinking at sporting events? Nothing has changed. Except, beer probably wasn’t 85 dollars a chalice back then; we are so primitive.

Author’s Note
Dio Chrysostom (ca. 40-115 CE)
A Greek orator in a Roman Empire. He had friends in high places, like the Emperors Nerva and Trajan. DC was certainly the type of guy who had the wit and humor to make tuxedo’d men holding champagne flutes laugh heartily at “cocktail” parties.


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